I started “Battles for Us” a Nonprofit Organization in 2020. I was experiencing my second diagnosis of Breast Cancer after sixteen years of being what I thought was cancer free. I was first diagnosed in 2006 with stage one Breast Cancer. In June 2019 I noticed a lump in my breast. I was in denial that something was going on. My rationale was I had already had breast cancer before in that same breast.  I was so sure is would never come back again, especially in the same breast. I fooled myself into thinking that this was only some scar tissue from my first lumpectomy, but I kind of knew it had never been there before. June, of 2019 it was time for my mammogram. I couldn’t get an appointment until July, but I was really scared to go to the doctor. Once I went to my appointment in July 2019, this led to many other tests. Then on August 29, 2019, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer, which was a devastating reoccurrence to me, my family, and my friends. All I wanted to say was "Why Me” but I had to realize what good would that do! I cried and pulled myself together because I knew this was way more serious and aggressive than the first cancer diagnosis. I had surgery for a double mastectomy and series of chemotherapy. When I finished this treatment cycle, I thought now I could breathe since the second cancer had been dealt with. Little did I know that in January 2023, I was now diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. The cancer had spread to my bones, liver and lymph nodes. But God!

I reached out to the same team of wonderful doctors which included my Internal Medicine, Oncologist, Surgeon, Nutritionist from my first diagnosis, this time adding a Plastic Surgeon. You should know your doctors, and feel comfortable with them because they are some of the most important people that surrounds you at this particular time. My oncologist ran some tests which indicated I fell in the category for the possibility of cancer returning in me. When you are in your emotions you pray to have a positive end result of this whole journey. I then made the dramatic personal decision I could not go through this again, so I decided to have a double mastectomy this second time. The thought of surgery and chemotherapy was just too horrible for me to even imagine that I would have to go through this again for my other breast. Little did I know that this decision to have a double mastectomy was not the result I had hoped and prayed for. The cancer returned for a third time only to be metastatic. It was more invasive and aggressive and spreading through other parts of my body.

It is so important to do your research, to find out all you can about the diagnosis you are facing. Reaching out to your doctors and listening to the information that is being provided to you, will help you get a better grasp of the disease. It can be overwhelming, so you should do your own research to absorb a little at a time since it is so much that you will have to understand about your diagnosis. Accepting this horrible situation is not easy for anyone. For me understanding what Stage 3 Breast Cancer entailed, as well as Metastatic Breast Cancer was a lot. I needed to know how aggressive these diagnoses were from the first Stage 1 Breast Cancer and what I possibly would be going through. 

My hope and faith in God were the only things that I had to rely on for acceptance of getting me through these diagnoses. These occurrences of breast cancer showed me that no one is invincible. I foolishly thought that since I had gone through breast cancer once, that I had my time, and it would never hit me again. How foolish, uneducated, and naive was I. I did not realize that it was not up to me, and anyone can have cancer more than once. 

My first diagnosis my daughter was just nine when I was diagnosed, and she really did not understand what was happening. The second time she was twenty-five, just starting graduate school and now both of our lives were being turned upside down. For my daughter who was in graduate school, going to school full time at night, doing her graduate internship during the day and now she would have to take care of her mom was a hand full. The third diagnosis was a blow. We had been very hopeful that we had gotten through the second round of surgery and treatment. Having to deal with the fact that now it had come back again, now spreading to other parts of my body made her (as well as me) really scared of the reality and challenges we are facing. 

My daughter has been my rock who has stood in the shadows with me while I go through this whole process. To process what was happening with her mother, my daughter started doing a video journal so she could speak her thoughts and fears of her mother having cancer. She had to accept and understand this disease. Seeing me going through my ups and downs amid the storm of this cancer diagnosis was a scary thing for anyone least of all a daughter to see her mother go through. She also started a beauty, arts and crafts business that she would work in her spare time (usually late at night) to keep her mind off the situation. 

Having breast cancer or any type of cancer, affects not only you as the person going through it, but those who are closest to you such as your family and friends. I knew I could not go through this process without my daughter and some good friends who never left my side. Not one appointment, tests, or chemotherapy’s have I gone to alone. When devastation like cancer hits you, it also involves those who are closes to you, so to have a village is so important. There will be times that you will have to lean on them to the fullest. 

I also faced an even more peculiar situation. At the same time, I was diagnosed with breast cancer I had two nieces who were just diagnosed with cancer, as well. One niece had lung and throat cancer, the other with thyroid cancer. Within a month of my breast cancer diagnosis my oldest sister was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. Within three months another one of my sisters was diagnosed with Stage 0 breast cancer. How could all of this be happening while I was at my lowest point in my life. My oncologist did genetic testing which indicated that breast cancer was not genetic within my family. 

Now the real world was playing a big part in my sickness. The reality was even though I was sick life wasn’t standing still for me. I would still have to provide the necessities of everyday life for me and my daughter to live. Bills still had to be paid, my house still had to function, and I had to make sure I was able to help with the finances. We had to still function like I was out there every day working to maintain life. The stress you go through with this illness at times is unbearable because from one day to the next, you still have to think about how we are going to make it without losing everything, including your sanity, and not let depression seep in. I was holding on to that mustard seed of faith, knowing that God would get us through this…. But God! 

What I have been facing in this process, made me aware and committed to helping others who may have to face the same or similar circumstances. My intention with “Battles for Us” is to help other women by raising awareness, providing education, support, resources, and networking to let them know they are not alone!

"I See You", “I Know You”, and You Are Not Alone!